The Deceitfulness of Being A Good Person
Hailed as a primary virtue in almost any society, the need to be seen as good by others, is a driving force for much of what we do and who we become. It is also the bedrock for us becoming monsters.
Humans seem to have a uniquely pervasive collective shadow, that has managed to remain with us for thousands of years. The desire to make others see us as being a good person. I say shadow, because admitting to this desire as being part of our motivation for doing the things we do, can feel quite distasteful. We do, after all, mock the SJW’s when they advocate for seemingly ludicrous policies, as it seems obvious, they are only doing what they are doing to make themselves seem morally virtuous. But being able to spot the low-hanging fruit, doesn’t mean we don’t all participate in these acts, all be it in more subtle ways.
There is a scenario that I have had in my head since I was a kid, created mostly through movies, where a woman living in the dark ages is accused of being a witch. In this scenario the trial is always run by priests. Weakly built, pasty, creepy, men who despite being part of a mob that is about to burn a woman alive, manage to frame themselves as victims in the situation. They have found a scapegoat for all of their problems, and now band together in a union of moral superiority. They deem themselves righteous and good men, who have defeated evil.
I imagine that Nietzsche was thinking of a similar scenario when he wrote his famous statement on the matter:
“Of all evil I deem you capable: Therefore, I want good from you. Verily, I have often laughed at the weaklings who thought themselves good because they had no claws.”
The point of this little scenario is to show that our simple approach to morality leaves the door wide open for manipulation and deceit. All the priests have to do is frame themselves as victims in the situation, and then everyone else automatically assumes them to be good. They do this because they have no claws. They are fearful and weak, and so they need manipulation in order to get rid of the thing that triggers them the most; a woman who can think for herself.
Yet, the priests themselves could only do what they did, while being enabled by an equally culpable mob of people who decided that they would rather appear as being on the “right side”.
And this is how our desire to be seen as good by others, turns us into monsters. Seeing the world through the ideas of good and evil provided to us by “authorities” leaves us ripe for manipulation that can have us condone or act out in ways, that will be looked back upon as monstrous.
An exhausted example of this is found in Nazi-Germany, as millions of people found themselves being on the side of the perpetration of the holocaust. We look back and wonder how these people could go along with, and even condone these atrocities, without being willing to accept, that we could absolutely have done the same, had we been there. As discomfortable as this is to accept, it can help us gain awareness of how we are being manipulated today.
There is no shortage of polarity in the world today. From political ideology to matters of legislation and culture, almost every faction or group seems to be thinking in similar ways; we are good, and they are bad. Instead of focusing on what is in alignment with our own conscience and integrity in a given matter, we look to the stance of our group and act accordingly. This is, of course, easy to spot in others, as seen in our readiness to characterise the opposition as “sheep”, while believing that our side is enlightened and good.
And while this process may give us a feeling of certainty and superiority, it also guarantees that any true progress is forgone. For as long as our primary motive is to claim “goodness”, it will inevitably lead us to view someone else as evil.
I found that this theme is explored particularly well in the stories of “The Witcher”. In the series released last year, there is a scene in the first episode, where the witcher, Geralt, chooses to protect a people in town who mostly despise him. He does so, because Renfri, a woman he has fallen in love with, is seeking revenge against the local wizard, Stregobor. And as Stregobor is bound by honour to defend the local citizens, Renfri’s plan is to kill the villagers until he reveals himself. Renfri’s revenge is absolutely understandable, since Stregobor had exiled her as a child and sent a man after her, who then raped her. Nonetheless, Geralt chooses to stop her in order to save the townsfolk, whereafter he confronts Stregobor. Yet, now standing on the town square next to Renfri, who he has just begrudgingly killed, surrounded by the townsfolk, Stregobor speaks a mere few sentences and convinces the whole town that Geralt is a monster. What ensues is a stoning from the very people he has just saved the lives of. As the stoning ends, Geralt turns towards an exit, and the people standing in the direction that he is going, immediately shudder and cower aside.
The scene is among the most accurate depictions of my earlier mentioned scenario. These people are acting purely out of fear, and thus seek to align themselves with whatever their group considers good. They are therefore primed for manipulation, making it almost effortless for Stregobor to lead them to condemn the man who just sacrificed someone he cared about for the sake of their survival.
None of us are exempt from the possibility of being part of an angry mob, throwing stones at whatever we are told is evil. Our own conscience and integrity are always there to guide us, but if we choose, out of fear, to simply follow the group, we will become susceptible to whomever is controlling the narrative. We risk becoming the crowd of people burning the witch, in complete denial of the reality of the atrocity that is being committed.
We have to decide what matters more to us; our own integrity or having others see us as a good person? This question will come to define who we become, and if the answer is to be seen as good, this too is understandable. After all most of us are socialised into this way of being, as the common way of raising kids is still widely based on the carrot/stick-principle. When we as kids did something, our parents were triggered by, we were called “bad” and thus punished. For a young helpless child, this registers as a fate worse than death, as we are biologically wired to know that losing connection with our caregivers will guarantee death. We begin to associate being seen as good as a necessity for having social relations, and fear that stepping outside what those around us believe, will have us marginalised or attacked.
Even worse, we learn at an early age that any part of our being that could be seen as evil, must be suppressed and disowned. In the scenario of the witch-trial, the priests have learned to repress any sexuality and freedom, as these were condemned by the church. It is no wonder then, that the scapegoats chosen, were women who showed too much individuality and capacity for free thinking. Their “evil” consisted in embodying what the priests sought to repress in themselves.
“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” /Herman Hesse
Yet, despite the challenges, both internal and external, we do have the ability to choose for ourselves what to do. Our integrity, however much we may have denied it, is always present to guide us. It may at times be frightening and painful to stand outside what those around us believes, yet it will always be better to stand alone in our truth, than to stand among other without a spine. And while accepting that whatever we hate in others is present in ourselves can be deeply uncomfortable, it provides opportunity for immense learning and growth. Imagine that the priests, instead of finding a scapegoat, had the courage to take responsibility for their own failings, and instead chose to learn from the women they despised. They would have been able to improve their own lives, and those of others, immensely, yet chose instead to burn the scapegoat and resume living in their comfortable misery.
A life lived without integrity is a fate worse than any punishment or opposition. Take a look again at the picture of the witcher walking through the angry mob. Would you rather be part of the feeble mob, or walk boldly and wholly through it?
It will always require courage to meet the world with integrity and openness, but when we do, we allow ourselves to come fully alive, and in the process to allow the same for others as well.
We need to move past the idea of good and evil, and realise instead that everyone has a reason for being the way they are. When we see a dog chained up somewhere, showing clear signs of abuse, we don’t consider it evil when it barks furiously at us, because we understand that it is truly just scared. So consider, that all you deem evil in this world, you not only carry inside you, but would under other circumstances be capable of committing. We can chose to continue trying to fight “the darkness”, but look where the fuck that has gotten us.
Have instead the courage to meet the world with an open mind, looking not for opportunity of moral superiority, but of deeper understanding. In return, the most dire problems in the world will be ameliorated, and we will find ourselves living in a world of beauty, wonder, and great potential.
The power to change the world lies in our hands, but as long as being seen as good outweighs our integrity, this power can be used to serve great atrocity.
Reclaim your integrity.
Embrace your shadow.
